Warning Signs

I should have never ignored the warning signs, all the bells and whistles that were going off in my head and my stomach, I pushed them deep into the back of my mind, locked it and prayed that it didn't seep out.  I held the answer to my own fate and I ignored it.
Some people call them premonitions, some call it woman's institution, to me they are simply my dreams.
The first dream that I had (sign # 1), was about the bouquet of flowers that my very best girlfriend was making for the wedding party.  She made a sample and I thought they were just beautiful.  After looking over the sample, she proceeded to make the rest of the bouquets.  A few days later, I had a dream that three of the bouquets, became unraveled and fell apart.  Before I could even tell her about my dream, she said, "sis, I have some bad news, some of the bouquets came undone, the beading and everything fell off, so we had to get some more material and items." 
The second dream that took place was that my cousin couldn't make it to the wedding (because she was driving from out of town) because of a storm that was brewing.
The third dream, which also ties into the second dream; was about the night that we were suppose to have the wedding rehearsal, it was raining cats and dogs! The wind was blowing out of control as if a storm was on its way; a hurricane even.
And can you guess what happened on May 16, 2008, it started raining cats and dogs, my cousin (from dream number two) was in a minor car accident and almost couldn't make it.  The rehearsal seemed as if it was never going to start, the music we needed to rehearse with, was left at home, I asked "him" to go back to get it, he felt like it wasn't necessary, so there we are in an argument in the rehearsal hall.  There was tension the rest of the night between the two of us: even as we went our separate ways to hang out with our friends, not many words were passed between us.
The day had arrived and even though I had that gut wrenching feeling, how could I turn back?  Everything was in place, everything was paid for, all the guest had arrived, looking lovely in their wedding attire; to see two people who "LIKED" each other enough to put on a circus show and get married.  I couldn't admit it then, but I can now, we may have liked each other alot, but we didn't love each other, nor were we in love.  You may be asking, how can she say that, Love doesn't hurt; verbally, emotionally or physically. And I did love him once, I was in love with him once, but thru the years, through all the mess, it went away and I stayed because I was content. That's my truth: I own it.
I should have paid close attention to the dreams, as well as the bells and whistles that were going off in my head.  In itself, it told me that a hurricane was brewing and you know what, that's exactly what happened.  The hurricane came, but I am thankful that it didn't take any lives: it just missed us.

-COCO-