Product

I am a product of fear.  Fear that binds me and keeps me hostage at times from the greatness that I know is in store for me.  

I am a product of abuse, verbal and physical.  Being called everything other than my name, being told that no one would ever treat me any better, to wrapping your hands around my throat! Drawing a loaded, gun on me and my children! This scared me like no one would ever believe! It left me angry and bitter!  Someone does treat me better, respects who I am, and dare not touch me!  

I am a product of poverty.  Electricity off, no running water, no food to eat, mother had to work three jobs to keep a roof over our head. Bathing in a bucket, having to go to school and smile thru it all. 

I am a product of sexual abuse.  You touched me “there,” grabbed my cheeks, forced my mouth open, and shoved your tongue down my throat!  You nasty, vile, excuse for a human! Family, go figure!

I am a product of single mother hood.  Not by choice, life happens, divorce happens.  Instead of having time to feel sorry for myself, I had to be strong for those three mouths I had to feed.  

I am a product of courage, courage that keeps me going when the roughest of storms rock my boat, knock me down, sometimes stand on my head, and throw me for a loop.  

The most important product that I am, is the product of God, and thru it all, I know that he had and has my back thru every experience, good or bad, happy or sad, he brought me thru.

I make no excuse for what I am a product of.  I am not ashamed of what I am a product of.  I don’t let what I am a product of keep me stagnant in one stage of my life.  I stumble, I get weary, I cry, I get angry, I yell, scream, I may even punch something; but I dry my eyes, remember that I’m not in the place where I use to be, I am a better, stronger, more relentless person because of my products, and I smile, repeat, “This too shall pass,” move on about my day, week, month, year, with my life!

DON’T LET YOUR PRODUCTS HOLD YOU BACK FROM GREATNESS. DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED OF THE THINGS THAT YOU WENT THRU.  THOSE “PRODUCTS” THAT YOU ARE A PART OF, CAN HELP SOMEONE ELSE.

~C~

Low Faith

How many times have you said, “Lord when is it my time?  What else must I endure before I am blessed?” 

So you’re going to sit there, read this and say, “Not me.”  Excuse me, but I don’t believe you!  You’re telling me that your faith has never been low.  You’ve always smiled your way thru every problem that you’ve had.  You’ve never felt like God had left your side?  If you answered no, I still don’t believe you!

I have sat and watched “celebs” on TV, with millions of dollars, whom shouldn’t have a care in the world, but some are hooked on drugs, in and out of trouble.  And I have said to God, “Why them and not me? I go to church, I pray, I pour my heart out to you, I have been thru trials and tribulations and yet praised you.  Yet there are people who have millions who don’t believe you exist.  Why them and not me?”  Yes!  I have had that conversation with God.  And I’m sure that some of you have had that same question, but will never admit it openly.  My faith has been and still is low sometimes.

“God, I’ve helped people, out of the kindness of my heart.  I’ve given when I’ve had it to give, even sometimes when I didn’t have it to give.  When is it my time?  Lord, what have I done, not to deserve to be blessed?”

Oh, I know some of you holier than thou folks, are rolling your eyes so hard, they are touching the back of your head.  Your faith has never been low.  You’ve always trusted God.  I also know that SOME of you are saying, “child you’re blessed to be alive.  You should be grateful.”

Don’t get me wrong, God has done MANY great things for me and I am thankful!  I thank him for his twins MERCY and GRACE daily.  But that still doesn’t mean that my faith doesn’t get low sometimes.

For those of you who have your blessing, don’t knock me because my faith is low and I have a conversation with God about it.  Don’t judge me.  Until you received your blessing, has your faith always been high?  If so, kudos to you; I’m not there yet, so cover me and pray for me until I get there.

My faith has been low and didn’t say it stayed there.

~C~

I'll Get There

I was riding on the interstate the other day, and there was this car following me really close.  Now mind you, I'm already driving ten miles over the speed limit, in the far left lane, or better known as "the fast lane." The car acted like, there was no other way that they could pass.  As I began to slowly move over, into the middle lane, I thought about something.  In life, there's more than one way to get to your destination. Just like there was more than one way for that car to pass.
If I were that car, I would have dropped back, moved over to the far right lane, also known as, "the slow lane," and passed.  Sometimes, you have to slow down (wait), observe (make sure that all your ducks are in a row), and then pass (get back up again).  If you can't pass to your left, rethink that thing and pass to your right.  Like Fantasia says, "Sometimes you have to lose to win."
No matter how fast or slow you're going, on the road, or in life, you'll get there one way or the other.  My path may not be your path, but I'll get there.  I may not do it the same way that you did it, but I'll get there.  I may not get there as fast as you got there, but I'll get there and that's all that matters.

~C~